I didn’t know what lovesick was but I think I figured it out.
I didn’t know what lovesick was but I think I figured it out… a little. I consider myself a robot, someone who is that awkward girl you don’t really hug but you’ll hug everyone else in the group and give me the smile. But when I was at the airport recently, I have to say that was one of the hardest things.
I was dropping my husband off as he had to catch his flight back to London. We were still waiting on my spouse visa to arrive and had a week to spend together after not physically seeing each other for 2 months. It was a wonderful week but then it was over. He had to return and although in my heart I had hoped my visa would have arrived by then and I could fly out with him, it wasn’t the case.
My visa was still in pending mode with no real update in sight. To say I had mild panic and anxiety running through my mind was an understatement. I was positive but it still seemed like something that didn’t have a real end. It just made me nervous. And seeing my husband check in at the airport to head home made it worse. Not only was he leaving, I didn’t have my passport and couldn’t see him unless I got a decision or he booked another trip to visit me.
On the day of his departure, we both were in semi-denial. He hadn’t packed his suitcase and the day before, I got emotional and started crying which made him in cry. I was stressed, sue me! lol Any way, we spent the majority of the day watching Netflix and then walked to Harlem for some fresh air and to grab some pizza. I honestly don’t remember what we talked about, it was probably nothing but the point was, we were trying to pretend there was no flight to catch.
Airports made me think anything was possible but this had taken that feeling away.
When we arrived at the airport, it had lost all it’s magic. The place seemed the same but a feeling of dread came over me. We walked over to the counter so my husband could check in and drop off his bag. The line moved at a decent pace but we stood there kind of silent, just looking at the scenery around us. Soon, we were at the front of line and an agent called us over. She was nice enough but then she asked if I was checking in. I had to say no but then the agent said something unexpected, she asked if I had my passport. She offered to give me a free seat on the flight since it was empty but since my passport was off being evaluated, I couldn’t take her up on her offer. Whether it was a real one or not, it was still saddening. To know how close I was to getting on a plane but losing the opportunity.
The agent told us we could hang around for about 45 minutes before my husband needed to go through security. 45 minutes, it seemed like a lot of time and none at all. We stood outside in the cold for a bit, to get away from all the people crowding the terminal. We talked about how I’d be there really soon and of things we would be able to do together once my visa came through. But then it became too cold so we walked back inside and stood near the security line, the point where ticket holders could progress and regular people had to stay back.
Everyone waiting by the barrier had a look of sadness on their face.
10 minutes of quiet chatter and hugging went by and then it was time. Time for him to go. I knew I would see him again but it still didn’t dull the pain of saying goodbye. He darted off into the security line and I followed the top of his head until I couldn’t see him anymore. Gutted (that’s what the British say, haha), I walked away and stood around in the airport like a zombie. I had no idea what to do. I looked at my phone in hopes of a text message but then, I just walked away. I found myself an Uber and rode home in silence.
That was one of my worst times at the airport but fast forward to today and I’m reunited in London. My visa has arrived and I’m happy and ready for more. Have you all had horrible trips to the airport? Why did it stink?